Last week I was out walking with my little dog, Pinocchio. He is a nine pound toy dog, and while he is always interested in other dogs, he is fearful of those dogs who are bigger, noisier and more boisterous than he is. (Which describes pretty much every other dog around us.)
We were happily walking along on a beautiful evening, enjoying the fresh air and the setting sun, when I saw this black blur in my peripheral vision. Before I knew what was happening, a large, black lab had literally run over Pinocchio and was jumping all over me, putting my little dog at risk of injury and knocking me over. I moved as fast as I could, trying to hold back this dog by its collar while picking up my own dog, but it took a minute and the fear had set in. Pinocchio was afraid for the rest of the walk.
I had a feeling that wasn't the last I would see of that dog, and I was right. The next day, as we were coming up to that same house, I picked up Pinocchio, who was already nervous, well in advance, and it was a good thing I did, because next thing I knew, here was that dog jumping on us again.
I have thought a lot about that incident in the last few days, not because of the other dog, but because of Pinocchio. When I finally was able to pick up Pinocchio that first evening, the look of reproach in his eyes was something that will stay with me for a long time. I had let him down. His trust in me was broken, and I knew I was going to have a hard time regaining it from this rescue dog that already struggles with trusting humans. It didn't really matter to him that I eventually solved the problem. The fact that he didn't get badly hurt didn't factor into it, either. Planning ahead the next day did not make up for the fact that when he needed me, I didn't protect him in the first place. A week later, that broken trust has not fully healed, and I am beginning to wonder if it ever will. Excuses cut no ice with Pinocchio - when he needed me, I failed him, and that is that, as far as he is concerned.
From my point of view, of course I did the best I could. But ultimately, I did let him down. And the truth is, sooner or later, we will let down everyone in our lives, because we are human, and our best is simply not enough sometimes. Likewise, we will also be disappointed in other people, even those we love the most. We will feel let down. We will be hurt in unexpected ways, sometimes not even seeing it coming until its over. And it will happen more than once. It is part of being human, to be fallible and inadequate, no matter how much we wish it were otherwise.
At those times when I feel dismayed by life, let down by someone unexpectedly, wounded by careless words or thoughtless actions, I turn to God, and the Bible, for comfort. In Isaiah 41:10 we read:
...do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
When I have been scared, felt lonely, or confused, no matter what went wrong, God has always been an ever present source of consolation for me. Whether I am following his plan, or when I make mistakes, he will uplift me and bring me peace. There are more times in my life than I can say where God has been there and given me the confidence and courage to face whatever was happening, and I am confident that he always will.
Pinocchio will eventually recover his trust, I hope, as I work with him to rebuild. He has three years of experience to teach him that I can usually be depended upon, and that should go a long ways towards giving him reassurance. But how grateful I am that I don't have to feel that seed of doubt in God, and I can count on him to show up every single time I need him. That is his promise, and my eternal guarantee.
I have often said that I find God at the end of my rope. But I don't actually have to wait for desperate circumstances or a crisis to cry out for him. God is there, past, present and future, within reach at the call of his name. If you are at the end of your rope, or if you are in need of comfort and care, just ask. God will show up for you, too.
My favorite hymn, written by Fanny Crosby, says it all for me.
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