The joy of the Lord is my strength...

 A particular verse caught my attention during my pastor's sermon this morning, and I must admit, my mind wandered in its own direction.

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.  Nehemiah 8:10

This verse has particular meaning for me this year as we grieve the loss of family members who would have been with us and livened up our festivities during this holiday season.  The stories not told, the humor not shared, the food, the fun, the laughter we missed - of course we grieve the loss of those things.  We are human, and we feel deep pain when we lose someone we dearly love.

From Halloween through New Year's, it seems like the world is having one big celebration.  Stores pressure us to buy, buy, buy our way into the hearts, or at least the good graces, of our loved ones.  There are parties, and food and advertisements reminding us that this is the most wonderful time of the year, and we should be happy and festive and lighthearted, never mind what is going on in our lives, or how we actually feel inside.

But a couple of lines from A Charlie Brown Christmas have always struck a chord with me, because they reflect how I have felt more than once during this season.  At the beginning of the program, Charlie Brown tells Linus,

"I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel."

Hard times do not respect seasonal expectations.  People are grieving over death, divorce,  illness, financial distress, loss of all kinds, and it can be very hard, painful even, to see others celebrating while you cannot.

Later, Charlie Brown looks in his mailbox, and is saddened, because once again, it is empty.  Then he says,

"Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?"

Haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?  Empty?  Alone?  Maybe unloved or even unlovable?  I think it must be a rare person indeed who cannot dredge up the memory of a holiday where they were not in the spirit of the occasion, because real life continues no matter what season it is, and sad or bad or hard things happen at all times of the year.  I think Charlie Brown resonates for everyone, because he touches on a deep truth - we are all vulnerable at times, and it can be scary and painful.

So what, then, do we do in a season of joy when we are sad, feeling left out or lonely or forgotten or angry with life or even God?  How do we cope with the expectation of celebration when what we really want to do is hide away or curl up in a corner or just forget about the whole thing?

I find the answer in Nehemiah.  We find our joy in God's joy.  We find strength in his promise of the life to come, where pain and sorrow are forgotten, and the stress and cares of this life are gone.

Where we grieve, there is also joy in the certain knowledge that the people we love are in the arms of God; that the pain and suffering of this life are now superceded by the beauty and delight of being in the presence of our Lord and Savior.  What a glorious thing it must be, to experience the presence of God first hand, face to face.

Where we are anxious, there is the joy of knowing that God has a plan for our lives, even when we can't see what that may entail.

When we are lonely and feeling forgotten, we find joy in God's presence.  We need only call on him in prayer, and he is there.

Jesus experienced all the human emotions when he came to earth.  He knew pain and suffering.  He understood fear and heartache.  He felt anger and sadness.  But he also felt the joy that comes from knowing God, relying on God, leaning on God.

We generally equate joy with exuberant happiness.  But they are not always the same thing.  The greatest joys of my life have been found in some of the quietest moments, where I have time to deeply appreciate the circumstances.  Holding my baby in the middle of the night.  Sitting by the fire with my husband just being together.  Eating a meal with my mother or a close friend.  Seeing someone I love after too long apart.  Petting my cat or dog.  All of those moments are a source of joy to me, and all were drawn from the love of another.

If you are struggling to find joy in this sacred season, draw on the joy of the Lord instead of the joy of this world.  Temporal things will fade, but God is eternal.  The joy of the Lord is your strength.  And in his joy, you will ultimately find yours, as well.

Wishing you joy in the Lord in his holy season.