Proverbs 31

 This may not be a surprise to anyone else, but I've been thinking about Proverbs 31 lately, and what the real meaning is.  And you know, it finally dawned on me what I think the true meaning is.  

But first, if you go back to the very start of the chapter, you will see that the words come not from a man, but in fact, from a woman, and a mother.  There is speculation that King Lemuel is, in fact, King Solomon, which would make the wise mother Bathsheba, just to put it all into context. 

Anyway, she is teaching her son how to be a good husband, and a good leader.  I have never realized that before.  It is funny how you read/perceive things the way you expect them to be.  But when you read with open eyes, sometimes the obvious isn't as obvious as you thought.

Her first advice is on how he should behave, beginning with moral actions and avoiding debauchery, particularly that caused by poor judgement due to drinking alcohol.  If you want to be a strong leader, those are wise words.

Next she advises him to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, and to judge with righteousness.  Again, whether you are a king leading his nation or a husband leading his family, those qualities will endear you to those whom you are seeking to lead.

This all leads up to the words on finding a woman of strength, in whom he can place in his trust.  There are many ways listed in which a woman can reflect well upon her family, and especially her husband, but the one which stood out to me was verse 28:

Her children rise up and call her happy, her husband, too, and he praises her.

I have always disliked the Proverbs 31 woman passage, because I have always read it as some man setting an unrealistically high bar which women are destined not to reach.  But the other day I read the whole passage with open eyes and realized it is the opposite; the Proverbs 31 woman is actually a reflection of her husband's regard and praise.  When she is recognized, loved and cared for, she will achieve all those things for love of her family, and it is no longer an effort but a joy.

This may have been obvious to everyone else in the world, but it was quantum shift for me.  Truly, who does not want exactly that for their son and daughter-in-law?  (Or daughter and son-in-law.)  And for one's self, too, come to that.

I have seen that lived out by my own parents.  My father held my mother in very high regard, and he showed it in every action towards her, even after more than 20 years of marriage.  He never raised his voice in disagreement, he always treated her with respect and loving kindness, and he consulted her on every decision.  In return, she reflected his high regard in the way she lived her life, always caring for us all, wanting the best for us, and doing herself and advising my dad on what she felt was right.  She was a credit to him, his love for her reflected in her actions, not a slave in any way, and taught my brother and I to be a reflection and credit to both of them, as well.  And all of us together, each of us in our own roles, reflect the love that God has for us.  We are, after all, made in his image, and should strive to be a credit to God at all times in our actions, both word and deed.

We fail, of course, but God understands our imperfections and failures.  But my new reading, and further understanding of this passage will give me incentive to be a better reflection of God's love towards me, and my love of him.  I think that is a good way to start the coming year.

I am made in the image of God.  I want to be a reflection of his love for me and a credit to him.